In business, as in life, perspective, or how you see things, is everything, or at least it plays a vital role.
Throughout my life, I have encountered people with a very particular profile; I could define them as arrogant (although not necessarily idiots) or simply proud. They are people who tried to sell me the idea that they had everything or that things always turned out well for them, unlike others, who are always in trouble. The exact type of people usually takes executive coaching sessions, so over time, I have explored what is really behind this winning attitude or mask.
I call this “persona” the king of the House of Cards.
The issue
With playing cards, we can build beautiful houses of various levels of height or shape, which requires skill and time but is perfectly possible. However, we also know these beautiful art pieces can collapse with a simple wind or a wrong movement, leaving us nothing again.
The kings of houses of cards think they are above the rest and like the feeling of having it all. But in reality, deep down, perhaps they have nothing, or rather what they have relies on a fallacy, on a structure (House of cards) that can collapse in the face of any sudden and unexpected movement (a change in life), or strong breeze (unknown and unexpected element).
In exploratory coaching sessions, the kings of Houses of Cards expose their problems to find solutions, and a common theme is almost always noted: being able to live with the feeling of being deceived. That is because, in reality, these kings are aware that what they own lacks the foundation or solidity necessary to sustain themselves in the face of the events mentioned above.
The solution
When exploring possible solutions for this sensation, we often conclude the obvious need to strengthen or review those things that are taken for granted, in other words, questioning the foundation on which everything they have been building rests. Mind this is only the beginning of the path. I propose three topics to strengthen this foundation.
The first topic I recommend reviewing is the person’s core values in order to discover (or rediscover) what is truly important to you. We often think we know our core values, but in reality, we don’t. We need to do the laborious exercise of starting with a series of values and eliminating them one by one until we reach our 3 or 5 most important values. This is the cornerstone of everything we build in the future; it is truly the foundation necessary to build a proper house. There are a series of methodologies, games or courses to discover these values. I use a framework for my coaching.
In my opinion, the second topic to review will be the individual SWOT. We are used to applying SWOTs to things related to work or projects, but it is necessary to make one for ourselves, discover what we are capable of and recognize what we still need to learn. This last point is essential to discover the weakness of our House of Cards.
Finally, I recommend exploring the person’s DISC style. By doing a DISC test and a coaching session, we will be able to understand and, above all, accept who we really are, what motivates us, what drains us, how we relate and communicate, etc. There is a lot of material written on this topic on this blog. In the coaching section, you can purchase DISC packages that include a reliable DISC test (many free tests on the web are unreliable) and debrief sessions to understand the results and get the most out of it.
Wrapping up
In conclusion, the House of Cards is an illusion, so the king of the House pretends to have everything, but in reality, what he has is a high risk of losing what he thinks he has at any moment. Or even worse, he lives tormented by his conscience since, within himself, he knows what he is standing on.
The good news is that if we follow an appropriate process to know and accept ourselves as we are, it could be by following what was mentioned above, we can begin to strengthen those foundations and thus be able to enjoy that beautiful House that we want to have.
If you identify with this profile or the feeling of standing on something that can collapse and want to do something about it, do not hesitate to contact me via the blog form to schedule a coaching session; you can also explore one of the available packages.
Alexander Martinez
