Guidance when making decisions

Of course, we all want the decisions we make to be perfect. We do not want to regret it or feel that the other alternative or alternatives that we evaluated were better. If we stop to think, we often make decisions based on the good or the opinion of others, such as our partner, children, family, friends, colleagues or even our “foes”. We also tend to make decisions based on material things such as money, possessions, work, etc. And what about the opinions of others? How many times have we been driven in one direction by fear of what other people will say?

Perhaps these decisions based on external factors seemed the right ones to us then; however, we could probably begin to notice something was wrong over time. Maybe it wasn’t what we really wanted. It is from there that regret and questioning arise. We challenge whether or not what we decided was the right thing to do. This could have significant implications in our lives depending on the decision’s importance.

Self-help books always recommend making decisions based on values or principles. This makes a lot of sense because our core values should always be the center of our lives; everything we do should spin around them. However, in real life, even though you may feel that you are making decisions based on principles, you can still feel that sense of regret afterwards. The question is, why?

Looking for solutions to this question, I concluded that the only way not to regret it or have doubts after deciding something is by comparing all my options and measuring them against what I consider most important to me. Which is not necessarily a value, although it could be closely related.

I call them decision-making factors. To figure them out, I came up with a simple process by listing all the things we think might be variables to consider when deciding something. In this part, you must go crazy and put everything that comes to mind. For example, if it is a decision about where to invest some excess money, we could place factors such as the feeling of security, opinion of friends, interest, return time, future assessment, family support, instinct, control of the situation, effort, complexity, etc. The list can be very long. In fact, it is imperative not to forget anything.

But the process does not end there; only now is when core values and preferences are considered. Obviously, of all the things on the list, there will be some that we will give more importance to than others. Usually, those aligning more with our DISC personality and core values will be more important, although this is not a rule. You are free to choose what makes you happy at that moment.

Following this logic, numerical values must be assigned to each of these “decision-making factors”. We will give the highest number (value, weight) to that factor that we consider the most important. For example, if we have a list of 20 factors, the most important should be assigned the number 20. We will continue to give values to the other factors in this way, always following an order of importance and without repeating any number. You have to make an effort to order them from largest to smallest. Of course, the least important factor will be assigned 1.

At the end of this process, we will have a list of decision-making factors with a certain weight. This list is necessary to proceed to the next stage of the decision-making methodology.

In my book The Perfect Tulip, I detail the complete methodology with examples and complement it with stories and practical applications. You can also read a summary of the method in a previous article on decision-making on this blog.

In the coaching sessions, we also cover a lot about the decision-making process and its relation to our core values and DISC. If you would like to explore further your decision-making, do not hesitate to schedule a coaching session via the web.

Alexander Martinez